2010: A Revelation - 2011: A Resolution

Posted: Thursday, December 30, 2010 by A. in
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We are two days away from a new year...

Looking back on this past year I can honestly say that I have accomplished a great deal and put myself on the right track to achieving some of the goals on my career path; however, these accomplishments were not really enjoyed. I experienced a lot of difficulty in my personal life.

I have been so terribly unhappy when I should have been ecstatic. I changed. I used to be happy, and fun and positive... I think. This past year something died inside me and I have felt like a careless robot, just going through the motions day after day. The only feelings I had really felt were fear and disappointment. I was tired of it, so I did something about it. I turned my life upside down and inside out. I realized I cannot fix everything that is broken. I'm not a robot. The only thing that I can fix is myself, and so the healing process began.

 Two months later, two days before 2011, I sit before you oh wise computer machine, and vow to you my new years resolution: Live.

I will be me and not apologize for it anymore. I will go on the adventures that I want to go on and experience new and wonderful things. I will push forward with my career. I will laugh with my friends. I will find new ways to enjoy time with my family. I will start new traditions. I will take good care of myself and others that are important to me. I allow myself to feel  - both good and bad. I will love and I will allow myself to be loved in return.

It's starting already, I feel the spark deep inside of me - watch me turn it into a fire. 

Crafty Times...

Posted: Sunday, November 14, 2010 by A. in
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Here are some photos of some of my sculptures. I figured I hadn't updated in a while so I might as well...












Impatient.

Posted: Wednesday, October 6, 2010 by A. in
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I hate waiting. Waiting causes me to be bored and boredom leads to me being unhappy. Unfortunately life is filled with waiting, and now that we are approaching winter it just gets worse.

At Work:
Waiting for scripts
Waiting for confirmations
Waiting for approvals
Waiting for booking sheets
Waiting for deal points
Waiting to go home
Waiting for this show to end
Waiting for the next show to start

At Home:
Waiting for dinner
Waiting till the last minute so we don't pack things we might need to use before we head home for the weekend
Waiting for friends and family to confirm plans
Waiting for Carey to get responses on his work
Waiting for Carey to give me responses to my questions
Waiting for Thursdays plans
Waiting for Fridays plans
Waiting for Saturdays plans
Waiting for Sundays plans
Waiting for Mondays plans

Back to work:
Repeat all
Waiting for the weekend

Overall:
Waiting for my allergy shots to come in
Waiting for Halloween
Waiting for Birthdays
Waiting for Christmas
Waiting for the next career move
Waiting to move into a bigger place
Waiting for Summer
Waiting to move forward or move on

These are all the things I am waiting for yet I don't just sit and wait. I do things to pass the time, to drive things forward, to make it more rewarding when it comes.

I don't like to wait. Ask people and they will tell you that I get bored and anxious and start to have mood swings. I like to takes steps to make things happen, move on to the next thing. I get very impatient with people who aren't like that, the people who just sit and wait. Waiting feels lazy. Life is too short. If you wait too long you might miss something.

Yet here I am, wasting precious moments blogging about waiting, and why? Because my hands are tied and I can't make my next move till others make theirs. So I need something to do while I wait.

My thoughts on Fall TV and what I think you should see...

Posted: Tuesday, October 5, 2010 by A. in
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A few weeks ago, while having dinner at my grandparents house, my mother asked me what new television shows would I recommend to her this season. Obviously she had asked the right person, but at the time I was kind of blanking. I had only checked out a few by that point and it had only been one week into premieres. I was not confident enough in my own future with these shows, let alone confident enough to recommend them.

Throughout the summer I had watched trailers and sneak peeks for many new shows. Anything that sparked my interest was added to my sidereel tracker. These are the shows that were at the top of my list and after 2-4 episodes I now feel comfortable deciding what their future will be with my calendar. Some of the shows I am about to discuss are actually ones that I have followed for several years. A new season is a new slate, and the first few episodes can easily persuade me to postpone my viewings or quit altogether.

Sunday

If you watched the last season then you definitely tuned back in for season 5 of DEXTER. The highly acclaimed 4th season was almost undeniably the best season to date. John Lithgow frightened us to our very core, so much so we threw awards statues at him in self defense. The finale left us in a cold, dark place that had us wondering if we would ever see light again. Okay, you can probably sense that I am being a little over dramatic. I am basing that last part on the comments that flooded facebook within seconds of the end credits. Personally, and not to give anything away, I was quite pleased with where the story went and I was filled with hope for the story arch this next season would bring. Well it has arrived, I have watched two episodes and I am going to insist that fans continue to follow it. You might as well strap in because even though we are off to the usual slow start, it is compelling enough to keep you along for the ride.

If you came into our apartment you would know right away that we have been anticipating the arrival of BOARDWALK EMPIRE for a very long time. God forbid we only have one piece of poster art for each Scorsese film. I have actually given away Taxi Driver posters because we do not need, let alone have room for, 6 or 7 of them... Anyway, Carey wants to bare Martin Scorsese's children, and I just downright love HBO. We were not at all disappointed. This show is fantastic. It looks incredible, the writing is genius - and I say this in reference to Michael K. Williams' scene this past week in which he still speaks like he's in B-Mo and I questioned this for the time period. I was having a real hard time getting past this, I was no longer listening to what he was saying. Carey tried to apply the reasoning that "Omar" transcends time. Then Steve Buscemi cleared it all up for me in one line that allowed me to laugh it off and focus on the scene again. The cast is a joy to watch. I am really excited for the rest of the season and I think it may be my favorite new show.

Monday

If you have been following HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER this whole time then you are obviously invested in finding out who the hell married Ted and had Bob Saget's children. If you haven't been following then you probably have no idea what I am talking about and your life will continue unaltered and lacking a bit of flare. This show is not always amazing and a lot of episodes may seem rather pointless - but if you have a group of friends who are dear to your heart, and your little group is made unique by it's own ridiculous language, rules, crazy stories and inside jokes - then you will be able to appreciate the genius beneath the surface. I think this show is hilarious and so much of the nonsense discussed has at one point come out of my mouth when no one was listening. If you follow you can continue because it's the same ol' antics with the promise of getting some answers this season. If you don't follow but would like to, please start from the beginning.

Side note: There is nothing I love more than writers who will put something that is almost meaningless in one episode and then 3 seasons later remind you of it and use it to drive the story. How I Met Your Mother does this quite often. Seinfeld used it in a running joke capacity. Either way it is something I really appreciate as a viewer.

90210 - I do not recommend this show. I love it and I hate myself for it and I wish that feeling on no one. There is nothing unique or special about it. It is exactly what you think it is - don't let it suck you in. On another note it showcases a lot of young Canadian talent...which is really why I watch it... do you buy that?

I love Laura Linney. I always have. She is not a high profile celebrity. She is usually the dominant female in a male driven film. She is subtle and funny and makes you feel right at home. THE BIG C is about a woman living with cancer. It is very very funny, and I imagine this can be a hard sell to some. I am really enjoying this series and I am very curious to see where is goes at the conclusion of it's first season. Also starring Oliver Pratt, whom I also adore, and has Idris Elba and Gabourey Sidibe recurring. I am not so fond of Gabourey. She reads very green, for obvious reasons. She seems to have  gotten better in the last couple of episodes... at best her inexperience is no longer dominating her scenes. It has not been very promoted from what I have seen, so I wonder how many people actually know that it is on. I say watch it.

Tuesday

The GLEE club is back and I'm starting to think that their placing at regionals was deserved. Is that a spoiler alert? Oh well. I loved this show when it debuted and continued to love it until it's hiatus. Then it came back and disappointed me. The rest of the season was hit or miss with me and hitting those notes is a pretty important thing on this show. It seems to be doing well with it's other viewers but for me, I don't know. I will keep watching it, and I recommend at least the first half of season 1 (the finale was pretty good too). But I will have to keep you posted on this. Also, it is really bothering me that their other dancer guy is gone. It is really annoying to just watch the one dude dance all the time.

We wanted to check out RAISING HOPE based solely on one thing - Garret Dillahunt. When you do that you are pretty much going in blind. He is not the star of the show, but it is okay because the rest of the cast isn't bad. This show is very cute and if you liked My Name is Earl then you will probably appreciate this show's aesthetics and vibe. 

THE GOOD WIFE (Season 2) - The main character's name is Alicia. I instantly feel like I am appreciated when I watch this show. How ridiculous is that? I like this show. Do I think Juliana Margulies deserved any awards? No. But I do think it is meatier than your average courtroom drama. It is well written and is executive produced by Ridley and Tony Scott. It's here to stay. If you like courtroom dramas, political scandals and affairs then you will probably really enjoy this one. I hope she goes crazy and kills everyone. It hasn't happened yet but I will wait.

This show is about...well exactly what the title says - PARENTHOOD (Season 2). If you are a fan of Ron Howard's work than this is an instant win for you. It's about you, your kids, your parents, your generations, your everyday lives. It's not much more complicated than that. It's recommended for those who have thick enough skin to withstand a good heart-warming without potentially exploding. I personally watch it for the acting, with a cast like this you can't not be curious.

Wednesday

Everyone's favorite new show is MODERN FAMILY. If you didn't catch it last season then you must be curious as to why it cleaned up at the Emmy's. Check it out. Strong recommendation for this show and for Phil Dunphy for father of the year.

If you watched the Emmy's you may have been one of the many viewers wondering why, during the Bruce Springsteen opening number, did they not pull Courtney Cox on stage? I can't answer this. Probably because they didn't think she was there. COUGAR TOWN is easily lost in the shuffle because it is not very good. It takes the dynamic of How I Met your Mother and adds in a little Desperate Housewives. This show will not appeal to everyone which is why I don't recommend it to everyone. I watch it for some of the silliness that I also get from How I Met Your Mother. If you don't like silly then you will hate this. 

Side Note: Cougar Town introduced us to a new game which we have found ourselves playing on Facebook - Movie Mash Up:

Synopsis: Barbara fights for her life against corpses as they rise from their graves, graves like the one Sean Penn is fearing as he faces his last days on death row. "Their coming to get you Barbara...you too Sean"

Answer: Night of the Living Dead Man Walking.

Thursday

Obviously GREY'S ANATOMY is on my list. I was hanging on by a thread through seasons 5 and 6. I could have dropped it at any time. But I am very glad I didn't. I absolutely loved the finale last season and I am determined to see this next one through. I recommend seasons 1-3 for sure if you are a Grey's noob. If you were a fan and went your separate ways, come on back and see it through. You know you want to.

PRIVATE PRACTICE - Drop it. I love Addison, I followed her to L.A., I was with her through all the crap and now I've had enough. I don't recommend it. 

If you have been a fan of THE OFFICE from the beginning then you will continue on for now. Will you continue once Steve Carrell departs? That I do not know. I like The Office, I recommend it, but I don't judge you if you want to jump ship.

Friday Night Death Slot

As a fan of NYPD Blue, I approach all cop dramas with caution. There are so many on and it is overwhelming and sometimes quite annoying. Carey has written a cop drama and honestly I laid into it pretty hard. I tore those first few drafts apart with the same hard criticism I give to all other cop shows. That is what I was expecting to do this week when we watched the first three episodes of BLUE BLOODS - previously known round these parts as "Reagan's Law" - But I was pleasantly surprised. I quite liked this show. Now I dont know if that had anything to do with my expectations being lowered by the epic failing of Detroit 1-8-7, but I am sticking with it. Donny Wahlberg is impressive - I often forget that he was in Band of Brothers (only because there were so many characters and they were all phenomenal). Three generations of cops in the same family, fighting crime in NYC. It feels like it's been done before but give it a shot because it is actually quite enjoyable. I opt to move it from the death slot and give it a nice spot of 10pm on Mondays (replacing Chase).

Side Note: Carey took the criticism well and cut a lot of the crap and added more quality. He now has two episodes of MEASURE OF MEN written and has a solid arch outlined for the rest of the season. It is very well done and I am extremely proud of him. It will not be another run of the mill cop drama.

Honorable Mention goes to MIKE & MOLLY - an overweight cop meets an overweight teacher at an Over-eaters Anonymous meeting and they fall in love. It's funny and adorable and was picked up for a second season. It does not fall as a high priority for me but I enjoyed it and will probably watch it casually.

Move bitch get out da way: OUTLAW - Sorry Jimmy, you tried, I know you did. You are just not strong enough to hold a show on your own and unfortunately that is what you are doing because everyone else is lackluster. So you had a good run on Season 3 of Dexter. It's over. Maybe if you're lucky they can give you a guest spot on Blue Bloods, I'm sure Nick Turturro would be happy to see a familiar face.

DETROIT 1-8-7 I almost don't even want to talk about it. Seriously? You can't try to be The Wire and at the same time treat your audience like idiots. We don't need basic terms explained to us. We get it. Move on with the story. Of course the new cop gets shot on his first day at the same time his phone rings to tell him his wife is in labor. That last scene was all you had going for you and it wasn't enough. Please kill James McDaniels off so that he can also join the cast of Blue Bloods and not have to go down with your sinking ship. PEACE OUT.

I'm am still very much looking forward to THE WALKING DEAD which premieres on Halloween and also the HBO series LUCK which will premiere next year and is written by David Milch.

So that's it. Stay tuned, or don't, it's up to you...

Dream Sequence

Posted: Wednesday, September 8, 2010 by A. in Labels:
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So this morning I woke up in a Jello factory, covered in lime Jello and fighting my way through zombies.

It's been days. At least I think it has. My once-white tank top has been soiled brown by a mixture of unknown fluid spatter. I am drenched in sweat. I notice this because it looks awesome on my perfect dream-world biceps.

I have a shot gun, and admittedly I have no idea how to use it. I seem to remember Carey screaming at me to turn off the safety when we were previously under siege. I did not know where the safety was so I just used it like a baseball bat to beat them all down. I have continued with this method and right now he doesn't seem to be complaining.

Carey is running quite a ways in front of me. He is hitting the zombies down as he goes. He is yelling at me to catch up but I am distracted by the thought that I am forgetting something important. Is it a way out? Was I told and now I can't remember? I don't remember why we are going in this direction and it is confusing me. I just hit Shira's face into a wall. Was that Shira? It felt like Shira but didn't look like her. Actually, all the zombies feel like people I know, but they dont look like them. I guess that's what it would feel like in reality.

Carey runs to a large steel door. There are people inside and they are screaming. He is trying to open it, but it must be locked. I see a zombie that has my blackberry. It is mashing all the buttons and trying to to make a long distance call. I can't afford this so I run at him...but I trip and fall. The gun goes off and the zombie's head explodes. That was pretty cool, but now my phone is in a million pieces. I am furious because I have just lost all my contacts. I whine at Carey - "How is Joanna supposed to bbm me now?!". He tells me to stop dicking around and yells at me to bring him the fire extinguisher off the wall. I can't figure out how to get it off the wall. I'm laughing because this is ridiculous but he doesnt find it very funny. He comes over and gets it himself then violently beats the door with it. Finally the door opens.

At least 20 people are inside and try to run out. They are all screaming. Carey sees a pack of zombies, doubling our numbers, heading right for us. He yells at us all to get back in the room. A blonde girl runs out and right into the pack. They begin to eat her in slow motion. I watch as Carey forces everyone else back in the room. Then suddenly I remember. He tells me to get in and I tell him no. He asks me why and I say it's because I'm the one who locked them in. He asks me why I would do that,  I tell him it's because these people are stupid and I don't like them. He says "Oh". He closes them in and I press a button that incinerates them all. This distracts the zombies and they start moaning something about barbecue ribs.

We run and find the exit. We step outside and are about to run to freedom when I stop and inform him that I have to go back. He replies "What?! Are you crazy? Why the hell would you have to go back?".

I forgot my shoes.

Alicia's Must Haves...

Posted: Thursday, August 5, 2010 by A. in
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For Shira

Posted: Friday, July 2, 2010 by A. in
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I sit here at work daydreaming of you and I,
fighting crime in future spacetime,
slaying our opponents and getting oozed in our face,
in our attempt to free the enslaved alien race.

Then it's back to our cave for a celebratory soiree,
drinking future beer we taze each other til the light of next day,
but the war is not over-though we fought the good fight,
we will sleep with one eye open on every future night.

Love Letter

Posted: Monday, June 14, 2010 by A. in Labels:
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Sara,

Everytime you come into my cafe my heart stops. A lump forms in my throat, I can't swallow... Although that may be Wayne's cinnabuns... but I don't think so, it is you.

Sara, you look so good, when you come in and order your coffee... with your hangover and grumpy face...I just want to say I love you.

Have a nice lunch. I'll be dreaming of you devouring me like a sundried tomato,

--Kevin


-------

This was found in a desk at work.

Apologies

Posted: Wednesday, June 2, 2010 by A. in
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Dear Blog,

I am sorry for not paying attention to you. I have been so busy at work and then when I do log on I get distracted by all the other blogs I follow. It's no excuse.

You'll be happy to know that have taken a step back from facebook. We were moving too fast. I am ready for a firm commitment to you now.

All of my love and hugs,

A.

P.S. I will dream about you tonight.

Screw the Exec's!

Posted: Thursday, May 6, 2010 by A. in Labels:
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COBRA: Hey, who would play you in a movie?

ME: What movie?

COBRA: The movie of your life.

ME: What's it called?

COBRA: It could be called anything, it doesn't matter.

ME: It matters.

COBRA: Who would play you?

ME: I don't know, I'm not casting it.

COBRA: Can I cast it?

ME: It's not up to me, it's up to the exec's. I didn't even know this movie was being made. I obviously have no creative control. Who would you cast?

COBRA: Sarah Silverman.

ME: That is the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.

COBRA: Really?

ME: You got the job!

COBRA: ...But it's not up to you, it's up to the exec's.

ME: Screw the exec's!

Then we broke out our team awesome dance routine.

Espresso and it's many uses

Posted: Thursday, April 22, 2010 by A. in Labels:
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Sometimes I need a good ridiculous conversation to really pick me up.

I am not going to bother with a lead in, it's better this way.

Cobra: See, now if I were to have a child with this espresso machine, I wouldn't care if we weren't together...

Me: As long as you could have a cup of coffee every now and then...

Cobra: Haha, I don't drink coffee, but thats not the point.

Me: Well that's why you wouldn't care if you weren't together. You didnt even appreciate her when you had her.

Cobra: THE POINT is, if we had a child and we weren't together I wouldnt care. But I would care if my kid didn't live with me.

Me: He'd have your hair.

Cobra examines the machine.

Cobra: Haha what are these tubes?

Me: Fallopian tubes. Apparently she is a child bearing machine.

Day Three: The Printer/Fax Shuffle

Posted: Wednesday, April 7, 2010 by A. in Labels:
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Yesterday our printer broke. We ordered a new one that was due today between 9am and 5pm. This new printer is multifunctional so that if our fax machine goes we will have a back up. Well our fax machine went alright. With those two devices down, we weren't able to get any work done before the new one's arrival. It ended up being delivered around noon and Cobra and I scrambled to get everything installed.

We decided it would go in the boss' office in the place of the fax machine. It came with 3 manuals, not one of them English. We tried to install the drivers for about 30 minutes before I concluded that the new system in the boss' office is a mac and it's possible that this printer's drivers can only be installed on a PC. We carried the massive machine into my office and set it up where the old printer used to be. As it turns out, I was right. Problem is, this older PC is very slow. By the time we got everything set up we had to scramble to get  the important documents printed.

The boss came back from a meeting and needed to fax some things. Unfortunately there was is no fax line in my office. So we pick it up and move it back to the boss' office. After several failed attempts to send the fax, she decides that she doesnt want to worry about that anymore and that we need to get the other things done. This would require printing. We did not have any time in the chaos to set up the network. So once again we carried the machine back into my office to print the documents.

This song and dance continued through to the end of the day. In fact, the network is still not set up, so I can only imagine how fun it will be to do this little again dance first thing in the morning. Oh, and that old broken printer will have to be taken down to the basement....

{Word Alert!}

Today a character in one of our breakdowns was described as "neolistic". What the fuck is "neolistic" you ask?

Neolistic:

Something, which is like Neo, or something which describes the same attributes of Neo from the Matrix series.


Practical knowledge out, ridiculous knowledge in.

Day Two: Interoffice Politics with a splash of Vanilla

Posted: Tuesday, April 6, 2010 by A. in Labels:
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When it comes to the entertainment industry, whether the environment is large or small scale, never say anything about anything out loud. Someone will always over hear you and 90 minutes later you will be asked why you said the things you said by the person you never wanted to know you said it. Word spreads fast.

Also, those in dominant roles can be very mean. I don't know if it is so much who they are as it is them trying to maintain control and gain respect. Personally, I don't care if someone is a complete asshole. If they are good at their job then I can put up with it.

These are common issues that I find to be sensitive in small work environments. So how do you avoid them? Vanilla.

Cobra and I, who seem oddly alike, have devised a plan. In order to avoid becoming a part of anything unpleasant in the office, we will appear to be very dull people. Never excitable or stressed, never too happy or sad, rarely laughing. Just basically doing our work and giving generalized responses like "oh really? That's too bad" and "I'm sure anyone would feel that way."

Going out of our way to appear boring has actually been very entertaining. It also seems to be working. It's only been 2 days but already the stress levels in the office seem more controlled. I feel that it is important for this experiment to continue.

We have created a cure to drama, and that cure is vanilla, it's Cobra and Me to the rescue!

Day One: Welcome to the Basement

Posted: Monday, April 5, 2010 by A. in Labels:
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Today I started my new job as a casting assistant. It was pretty quiet due to Easter, the perfect day to start learning. They had just received new computers and we could not really do much until the nerds-on-site dude finished setting everything up. Once he had completed the switch, it was determined that the remaining unused hardware would be stored in the basement.

Enter ME- a young, attractive blonde in her mid 20's. She is new to the office and is aware that a lot of the grunt work will fall on her. She accepts this and is happy to help in anyway she can *cough* kiss ass *cough*.

I started carrying the boxes and old computers down to the main floor only to realize that I was never told where the access to the basement was. I went upstairs and asked the other assistant (I will refer to him from now on by the code name: Cobra...I wanted to be Cobra, but I don't need a code name so whatever...) Anyway, Cobra came down and showed me where the basement was. It wasn't too bad, low ceilings and spider webs, but otherwise it was pretty clean and empty. We put the stuff down and I went back up to get more.

This environment is very tricky. There are moments where it seems as though there is nothing to do because you cannot proceed until others to get back to you, or sign off, or send you materials. Then when you are in the middle of something, other things happen that require you to drop everything and focus all your attention to a new task. This is what continued to happen. I would sit down with the boss, ready to learn something new, and the next thing I know, I am back in the basement.

The phone rings- "I gotta take this, can you take that down to the basement?"

An e-mail comes in- "Shit this has to get done now, can you take this down to the basement too?"

A random thought comes into her head- "I can't focus on this right now, we have to get this other thing done- is there anything else that needs to go to the basement?"

By the end of the day I had made a preemptive strike and taken some extra things into the basement so that there was absolutely nothing else that could possibly go down.

Don't get me wrong, I learned quite a bit in this first day, basics mostly. Things that were easy enough to commit to memory so I didn't end up taking any notes. It was just all over shadowed by how bad my baby cows hurt from going up and down from the basement.

You gotta start at the bottom to get to the top.





Footnotes:

*I will not use the names of the people I work with, nor will I discuss project details.
*Baby cows are what I call my calves.

3am

Posted: Thursday, March 25, 2010 by A. in
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Dear Blog,


...I forgot what I was going to say.


Can you hold this for me, I'll be right back.

Free Tutorials!!!

Posted: Friday, March 19, 2010 by A. in Labels:
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Learning HTML, so far so good :)

TV Adventures: Band of Brothers

Posted: by A. in
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Tonight I finished the Band of Brothers Series. It was amazing. I find myself becoming more and more open to films and shows that involve war. I would have never watched them before, but now, after watching Black Hawk Down, The Hurt Locker, and playing a lot of Call of Duty, it seems to have become a growing interest.

I think my favorite segment was the one that follow the medic, Doc Roe. It was astonishing to see the conditions these men worked under and the toll it can take to be so helpful and helpless at the same time. The effects were great, they even grossed me out a bit which is pretty hard to do. I believe the actors contributed to that. Outstanding performances by all!

I am very excited to get started on Generation Kill as well as The Pacific.

Here is an updated list of my shows:


Completed Series:
-Deadwood*<3
-Band of Brothers*
-Friends*
-Seinfeld
-Arrested Development*
-The L Word
-Nip/Tuck
-NYPD Blue*
-The Unit*
-The Wire*
-Sex and the City*

Current Shows: 
-90210 
-Accidentally On Purpose
-Americas Next Top Model
-Big Love
-Breaking Bad
-Cougar Town
-Curb Your Enthusiasm
-Damages
-Dexter*
-Glee*
-The Good Wife
-Grey's Anatomy*
-How I Met Your Mother
-Melrose Place
-Modern Family*
-My Boys
-The Office*
-The Pacific
-Parenthood
-Private Practice*
-Raising the Bar
-Rescue Me
-True Blood*
-V
-Weeds

I Gave Up:
-24 (Season 7)
-30 Rock (Season 3)
-CSI (Season 8)
-Entourage (Season 3)
-Family Guy (Season 5)
-Flight of The Conchords (Season 2)
-House (Season 5)
-Mad Men (Season 2)
-South Park (Season 12)
-Ugly Betty (Season 3)

New Shows and Stuff I Plan To Check Out:
-Happy Town
-Generation Kill
-Luck
-Justified

A Love Story

Posted: by A. in Labels:
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We were great together...on paper

First Ever Menu Plan Monday!

Posted: Monday, March 15, 2010 by A. in Labels:
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Since finding out all of my allergies in September, it has been very difficult for me to do what I love to do, which is cook and bake. The drastic change in my diet helped one thing only- stomach pains and vomiting. I still have them once in a while if I eat something I know I shouldnt. But otherwise I have been vomit free. Unfortunately my rashes, constant sneezing, itchy/watery eyes and headaches are still with me. I know that a lot of it is due to the environmental allergies, which I get shots for weekly; however, I cant help but feel like I am continuing to develop food allergies.

I started reading some other blogs about food allergies in order to try new recipes and better understand the ingredients I have been using. Then I saw that most of these blogger are on a rotation diet. Why did my doctor never mention this? I would like to thank the bloggers that continue to post helpful information and recipes. Most of these bloggers are mothers that have had to adjust due to their children's food allergies. I could not imagine how much more difficult this experience would have been if I had to worry about a child's well being. Taking only myself into consideration (as I often do...) has been a lot easier.

Today I started my rotation diet in hopes that I well start to feel better. I also feel that keeping a routine will well eventually make my food choices second nature. I dont really think about most of the foods I am missing out on anymore, this could help take that a step further. I also dont have to worry about Carey because he will try anything.

A rotation diet involves eating the foods that you are not allergic to only once every 4 days. Everything that you eat belongs to a family, even if it's only a family of one. You cannot consume a something from the same family 2 days in a row, but you can have it every other day as long as it is not the same item.

Last week I went through the food families and wrote down the foods that I CAN eat on multi-coloured cue cards:


It was the middle of the week so I decided to wait and start it on a Monday. So today I organized them over a 5 day period. I know you only need to do 4 days but I have a slower digestive system so I didnt want to repeat many of the same foods on the 5th day.

Blue: Fruits and Vegetables
White: Grains/Flours/Starches
Red: Proteins
Yellow: Oils/Spices/Other...

It took me 2 hours but I managed:



I took this picture as an example, but I did some re-arranging afterward. By doing it this way, I was able to only use a card once, so I was never repeating that same food. The food has the food family written in the bottom corner. This allowed me to keep track and make sure that the same family was only appearing every other day.

Dont judge my small breakfasts. That didnt change much cause I usually just eat fruit. As for dinners, it says to try and keep it simple at first, so nothing fancy this week. Also, I dont really eat lunch but I will snack. I didnt want to change that too much so somedays I will have a lunch type food but most I will just snack.

Meal Plan:

MONDAY

Breakfast: 
(Smoothie)
Raspberries
Mango
Orange Juice

Lunch/Snack:
Orange
Baby Carrots
Chocolate Soy Milk

Dinner:
Salmon prepared with Garlic, Lemon, Parsley, Earth Balance Butter.
Rice with Braggs Soy Liquid
Carrots
Green and Yellow Beans

Families Present:
Berry
Citrus
Cashew
Grain
Salmon
Legume
Parsley
Lily

TUESDAY
Breakfast:
Honeydew Melon

Lunch/Snack:
Butternut Squash Soup
Honeydew Melon

Dinner:
Prime Rib seasoned with Peppercorns
Sweet Potato Fries

Families Present:
Melon/Gourd
Red Meat- not really a family but I rarely eat it so it shouldn't be a problem
Morning Glory
Peppercorns


WEDNESDAY
Breakfast:
Pears <3

Lunch/Snack: (went a little complex with this one)
(Cookies)
Spelt
Vegan-Corn Free Chocolate Chips
Brown Cane Sugar
Agave
Coconut
Cinnamon

Dinner:
Spelt Pasta
Basil Pesto
Chicken
Onion

Families Present:
Apple
Chocolate
Grain
Pheasant
Lily
Palm
Agave
Laurel
Mint

THURSDAY
Breakfast:
Grapefruit

Lunch/Snack:
(Cranberry Muffins)- making a dozen and freezing them
Quinoa Flour
Tapioca Startch
Walnuts
Walnut Oil
Honey
Cranberries
Citrus

Dinner:
Pork
Spinach Salad with Mandarin Oranges and Almonds

Families Present:
Citrus
Heath
Walnut
Beet
Spurge
Swine
Plum

FRIDAY
Breakfast:
(Smoothie)
Raspberries
Banana
Flaxseeds

Lunch/Snack:
Apples with Peanut Butter

Dinner:
Sliced Turkey on toasted Rye/Flax Bread
Cucumber Salad

Families Present:
Berry
Banana
Flax
Grain
Turkey
Melon/Gourd

SATURDAY (I am working till 10 pm so lunch/dinner it has to be quick and microwaveable)
Breakfast:
Koala Crisp Cereal - puffed rice and cocoa
Rice milk

Lunch/Snack:
Mango
Carrots
Chocolate Soy Milk

Dinner:
Rice with Soy Liquid
Carrots
Green and Yellow Beans

Families Present:
Rice
Cocoa
Cashew
Parsley
Legume

SUNDAY (working till 7pm so need something easy when I get home)
Breakfast:
Oranges
Orange Juice

Lunch/Snack:
(Cookies)
Spelt
Vegan-Corn Free Chocolate Chips
Brown Cane Sugar
Agave
Coconut

Dinner:
Butternut Squash Soup

Families Present:
Citrus
Grain
Chocolate
Palm
Agave
Laurel
Mint
Melon/Gourd
Plum

--------

From this I made my grocery list. I purchased my fruits and vegetables in Kensington Market at the stand on the corner across the street (south) from Fresh Mart.

 

Fruits and Vegetables, which I eat a lot of and have to purchase every week, can be very expensive. I used to shop at sobey's in St. Catharines and there is no way I could get this much for this cost.

1 bag of Spinach
1 bag of baby Carrots
1 Large Honeydew Melon
3 Large Oranges
3 Grapefruits
3 Plums
3 Mangoes
3 Pears
2 Giant Cucumbers
2 Large Apples
= $22.00

Monday is almost over and it went pretty well. Tomorrow I am baking and freezing my cookies and muffins- The recipes for these have been tweaked since I posted them.

Now what?

Posted: Wednesday, March 10, 2010 by A. in Labels:
0

Time Machine Broken, Plan B Failed...

Mondays

Posted: Monday, March 8, 2010 by A. in Labels:
0

Jersey Milk and Paper Mache Mountains...

Close Call

Posted: Sunday, March 7, 2010 by A. in Labels:
0

I'd like to thank the Academy...

Mornings

Posted: Saturday, March 6, 2010 by A. in Labels:
0

My alarm didn't go off...sigh.

Chocolate Chip Spelt Squares

Posted: by A. in Labels:
0

Since I was already baking muffins, I figured I might as well keep going.


Chocolate Chip Spelt Squares

1 Cup Earth Balance Butter

1 1/2 Cups Cane Sugar (you can also use splenda)

2 Eggs

1 Teaspoons Vanilla

1 1/2 Cups Spelt Flour

1 Teaspoon Baking Soda

1 Teaspoon Cinnamon

1/2 Teaspoon Salt

3 Cups Spelt Flakes

1 Cup chopped Almonds (optional)

1 1/2 Cups Chocolate Chips ( I use cocoa camino or the vegan corn free ones I found at the market)

1 Cup Flaked Coconut (I didnt have any which is why my batter was a little more moist than usual)

--

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.

Beat together butter and sugars until creamy. Add eggs and vanilla and beat well.

In a separate bowl, combine flour, baking soda, cinnamon, and salt. Stir into moist batter mixing well. Stir in spelt flakes, chocolate chips, almonds and coconut.

Drop by tablespoonfuls onto an lightly greased and floured cookie sheet.

Bake 10 to 15 minutes or until golden brown.

Remove from oven and let stand 5 minutes. If yours have expanded together to form a sheet of cookie (like mine) cut into squares and remove from sheet.

---

Notes:

My batter was very moist this time round so when I cut my cookies into bars they crumbled quite a bit when I removed them. I used 2 separate sheets, one was much deeper and those squares came apart without crumbling.

You will have to experiment.

Top of the Muffin to ya!

Posted: by A. in Labels:
0

I was going to bake some bread tonight but then I thought who wants crappy spelt bread when they could have muffins instead!


Cranberry Almond Muffins Tops

2 Cups Quinoa Flour

2 Tablespoons Arrowroot Powder (or Tapioca Starch)

1 1/2 Teaspoons Baking Soda

1/2 Teaspoon Salt

1/2 Almonds (you can also use walnuts or pecans) (optional)

1 Cup Cranberries-Chopped (you can use dried cranberries at 2/3 a Cup but since I cannot have dried fruit I used frozen cranberries that I thawed and then washed with warm water)

1/2 Warm Water

1/2 Cup thawed Orange Juice Concentrate (you can also use pineapple if you are not allergic)

Grated peel of 1 orange (optional)

1/8 Cup Coconut Oil

1/8 Cup Olive Oil (you can use 1/4 cup of walnut oil instead of these 2 oils)

1/4 Agave Nector (honey can be used instead)

--
 Preheat oven to 375 degrees F. Grease a 12 cup muffin pan or line it with paper cups.

Sift together flour, arrowroot(or tapicoa starch), baking soda and salt and whisk together. Add nuts if using.

In a separate bowl,  combine the cranberries, water, juice, orange peel (if using), oil and agave (or honey). Pour into the flour mixture and mix until  combined but be careful not to over mix.

Spoon into muffin cups until they are almost full. Bake for 17-19 minutes or until firm. Check center with a cake tester. Remove from oven and let stand in the pan for 5 minutes before removing. Remove from tin and let cool completely.

--

Notes:

You can use any substitutes you like. I made mine particular to my allergies.

These muffins have difficulty rising which is why I call them muffin tops. Next time I will stir in some baking soda and lemon juice once all the other ingredients have been mixed. I have done this with other muffins to help them rise but this time I forgot.

Next time I will add an addition 1/2 cup of cranberries because I really like them and felt there just weren't enough.

Speechless

Posted: Friday, March 5, 2010 by A. in Labels:
0

I

Have

Nothing 

Else

To

Say...

6 Word Memoirs

Posted: by A. in Labels:
0

I really liked the 6 Word Memoirs books. They make me feel things.

In an attempt to force a blog daily, I will write a 6 word reflection of my day.

I'm going to go clean my bathroom now.

Newest Friends

Posted: Thursday, March 4, 2010 by A. in Labels:
0

Since I dont have a job right now I was able to finish some of the sculptures I started.

Inspired by tremors, this is Betty eating Bacon...Kevin Bacon...



Inspired by Ghoulies, this is Kitty... I dropped him and one of his fingers broke :( I can't find it so now he's deformed. But he is still beautiful.



<3<3<3

Ebert

Posted: Wednesday, March 3, 2010 by A. in
0

I was reading an article that Carey sent me that chronicles a day in the life of Roger Ebert. It was a very well written piece, saddening in so many ways, but uplifting in far more. There were times where I laughed at what I was reading and for a moment after I felt horrible for doing so. I realize now that I was laughing with him, as he is laughing too.

It is remarkable that a person could live through such trauma, a trauma that at times seems not worth living, and yet feel so enlightened with every passing day. It is not as though his trauma has ended and he is grateful, holding a new appreciation for life- it continues daily with his limitations, his pain, his own reflection and worst of all the pity and helpless stares from others. What has limited him in so many ways has inspired him to grow in others. It has reshaped him and allowed him to become more than what he was. For most it is a will to live. For Ebert it is a spirit that transcends will, driven by the passions, desires and joys we are able to experience over a lifetime. 

"I believe that if, at the end of it all, according to our abilities, we have done something to make others a little happier, and something to make ourselves a little happier, that is about the best we can do. To make others less happy is a crime. To make ourselves unhappy is where all crime starts. We must try to contribute joy to the world. That is true no matter what our problems, our health, our circumstances. We must try. I didn't always know this, and am happy I lived long enough to find it out."- Roger Ebert


The article, written by Chris Jones for Esquire can be found here:
http://www.esquire.com/features/roger-ebert-0310

Gargoyles

Posted: Saturday, February 27, 2010 by A. in
0

I Think I am going to re-watch the animated series Gargoyles and sculpt them. I adore gargoyles...

What now?

Posted: Wednesday, February 24, 2010 by A. in
0

So your boss tells you that you are the best assistant she ever had but she can't afford to pay you anymore so this is your week's notice. You have worked there for 9 months, 6 of which were free. You worked 7 days a week between 2-3 jobs in order to pay your bills and keep your internship. When your internship ended you accepted lower payment than originally agreed upon because you knew it was a bad year. You are told you will get help finding a better position but that help consists of you blindly sending cover letters and resumes to 40 casting directors and agents and getting asked by your boss every day if you got a job yet. She didnt give you a list either, you did your own research. The people she did suggest were out of a book from 2003 and are no longer in business. None of those casting directors/agents that you applied to are hiring. But thats it. You have to leave cause she cant keep paying you. No help, over a year of your life wasted. And she gets mad when she forwards you a birthday card a week later and you dont respond to her e-mail.

So I ask you, What Now?

Do you play croquet?

Posted: Wednesday, February 10, 2010 by A. in
0


Dream Sequence

Posted: Wednesday, January 27, 2010 by A. in Labels:
0

The following dream occurred between 4am and 7am on the morning of Januray 26th 2010.

I am the emperor of the 7th district of the Ocean. To others I am evil. All I know is what is best for my people. I have slain many, but not without reason. We do not speak, at least not out loud. All communication is done mentally. We do not eat and we do not require shelter. We only need to stand guard. To protect our district. To protect the miles of Ocean that we are responsible for. Maybe we are gods.

We respect the sea because we fear it. The waters of our district are dark and violent. There is no sun, only constant night. Our district is outlined by stone, castle-like walls. We live on large flat pieces of rock that rise just barely out of the water. Even when it is not raining there is a mist that surrounds us- this is caused by the constant flow of crashing waves.

We wear white cloth that is almost pointless because we are always wet. We all have bare feet. I notice this because the wet mossy stone feels disgusting between my toes.

It is not clear how or why we exist. As I stare out at my district I wonder how I am alive. I am aware that I am a higher rank, but I do not understand why. I do not understand many things about this world, but I know I fear death. I sense the fear is stronger in the others.

There are no emotions here. Just knowledge. But it is emotionless knowledge- robotic. Maybe I rank above everyone else because I have the capability to wonder-but my wondering is limited because I do not care enough to seek the answer.

Something is about to happen. I have been betrayed. Ships are coming in and a war is starting. I feel the need to protect my people and the conditions of my district. However, it is my people that have allowed this to happen. They do not understand me and wish me gone. They have made an arrangement with district 11. They will combine their strengths, breakdown our walls and allow our waters to run into open territory. They want to breakdown the other districts as well.

They want to do all this but they dont know why. Like I said, knowledge just appears. They know they need to do this and they are carrying out their plan-even though it makes no sense-destroying the districts will give us know purpose. We will be rendered useless and be ripped from existence.

They come for me but I am confident that I can fight them off. Me against thousands. I had slain many in the past, what's a few more? I am doing well at first. I have killed maybe 200- a few by sword- but mostly from running. The rock is slippery and I know this district inside and out. I could play hide and seek all day and watch them run and fall to their watery deaths.

There is a change. Many are suddenly overcome with the knowledge that they are wrong. They turn and fight the others. As I watch these people get slaughtered on my behalf, it becomes clear that I need to end it. The next thing I know, I am charging at them. I throw myself into the mob. I am tossed every which way. Those who had been defending me are now back with the others. Their objectives changed in the blink of an eye. I wonder if it was all part of a plan, then I stop wondering because I am incapable of caring long enough to see my own thoughts through.

The water is cold, yet somewhat refreshing. Once in the waters you will never be recovered. I know this. I accept this. As I slowly sink deeper, I can see the surface above me. It's fading further and further away. I see the ripples and then...nothing. I look around and see the bodies of those I had sent to their death.

I am not scared. I once feared death but fear was only something I knew, not something I felt. I no longer know fear. I know the word irony, not the meaning, but the spelling. I see the word. It is the last thing I will ever know.

I feel nothing, I know nothing. I die.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Pretty fucked up eh?

The wet stone and moss between my toes- that was lotion. When I woke up my feet were still moist. As for everything else? Who the fuck knows...

Moon in Aquarius *Don't Read This!! It's Too Long!*

Posted: Thursday, January 21, 2010 by A. in
0

My recent interest in Zodiac signs, and by recent I mean since noon today, has led me to a deeper interest in the involvement of planetary alignment within astrology.

I spent most of my afternoon googling in detail. That is when I write out fully what I want out of hope that the perfect website will appear. I was googling "How do I know if Mercury is in Aquarius?"-nothing helpful came up. I dumbed it down to just "Mercury in Aquarius" which then lead me to several descriptions of this sign but nothing about how to tell if it is the proper planet for me.

I previously spent a chunk of my time on www.cafeastrology.com and liked this site the best. So I browsed through this site and found this http://www.cafeastrology.com/articles/howtoobtainchart.html- this builds your natal birth chart and tells you what planets are in which signs for you.

Here is mine. It is very long but I have bolded the parts that I find interesting.

Alicia Sex F
St Catharines, Ont 9 Canada 02/18/1985 18:53 - Julian day 2446115.50
Adjust 5.00 ST 4.32 Lat 43.10 Long 79.15

Zodiac in degrees 0.00
Placidus Orb:0
SunPisces0.18
AscendantVirgo12.49
MoonAquarius21.16
IILibra6.34
MercuryPisces0.02
IIIScorpio5.39
VenusAries13.34
IVSagittarius9.22
MarsAries12.12
VCapricorn14.13
JupiterAquarius2.48
VIAquarius15.47
SaturnScorpio27.54
VIIPisces12.49
UranusSagittarius17.33
VIIIAries6.34
NeptuneCapricorn3.05
IXTaurus5.39
PlutoScorpio4.41 R
MidheavenGemini9.22
LilithAries18.29
XICancer14.13
Asc nodeTaurus22.13
XIILeo15.47

   Aspects
The following table shows the planetary aspects in your natal chart. Short interpretations are found below.


PlanetAspectPlanetOrb/Value
SunConjunctionMoon9.0175
SunConjunctionMercury0.16491
SunSquareSaturn2.24-84
SunSextileNeptune2.4773
SunTrinePluto4.2474
MoonConjunctionMercury8.4559
MoonSextileUranus3.4416
MercurySquareSaturn2.08-54
MercurySextileNeptune3.0333
MercuryTrinePluto4.4039
VenusConjunctionMars1.22471
VenusTrineUranus3.5935
MarsTrineUranus5.2145
MarsSextileMidheaven2.5053
JupiterSquarePluto1.53-62
JupiterTrineMidheaven6.349
UranusSquareAscendant4.43-6
UranusOppositionMidheaven8.11-5
NeptuneSextilePluto1.3754

1527-2111316

Asteroids & Chiron

The following table shows the positions of the four major asteroids and Chiron. These points are not as commonly used by astrologers, but are presented here for those interested in knowing where the asteroids are positioned in their birth chart.

ChironGemini3.46
CeresTaurus19.04
PallasPisces28.18
JunoLibra13.19 R
VestaScorpio7.48
FortuneAries0.00
South nodeAries0.00
Natal Chart Report

Birth Chart

This birth chart report shows the positions of the planets for Alicia .

The Sun represents vitality, a sense of individuality and outward-shining creative energy.

Sun in Pisces
As the twelfth and last sign of the zodiac, Pisces contains within itself a little experience of all the signs. This gives Pisces Suns the ability to identify with people from all walks of life--from all backgrounds--in some way. These individuals are not only changeable and adaptable, they have open minds and tremendous understanding. But Pisces itself is often misunderstood. Pisces Suns may spend a good portion of their lives yearning for understanding, and the other part in a state of divine discontent. Suffering is sometimes glamorized in the Piscean world.

Sun in Pisces people are frequently pegged as wishy-washy, but this is all a matter of opinion. What you will find behind a vaguely directionless, spacey manner is a deep person with real dreams. Their dreams are more than getting that picket fence or making it up the corporate ladder. Pisces are tuned in to a higher purpose and their dreams transcend the individual. A deep love for humanity, and compassion that knows no bounds is found with this placement of the Sun. Pisceans are not known to be cutthroat business types, nor are they given to throwing themselves out into the world in an aggressive manner. But make no mistake about it, Pisces can be extraordinarily successful when given the chance to express themselves. The arts, marketing, music, teaching, drama, healing arts...these are all fields in which Pisces can find expression. Their imagination, attunement to humanity, and remarkable intuition endow them with enviable gifts of insight and creativity.

Pisces is a sensitive sign--both sensitive to criticism and sensitive to others' feelings. Easily touched by human suffering, at least in theory, Pisces wouldn't hurt a fly. They believe in people, are deeply hurt by compassionless human behavior, and have a hard time saying no. Harsh realities are avoided either through escapist behavior or self-delusion; but every now and again reality does raise its ugly head, and hits Pisces over the head. This is a sad time indeed. Pisces retreats into their own world, self-pitying and giving pep talks to themselves ("I will never trust again!"). Rest assured, though, that these periods are rather short-lived and even useful. Pisces seems to derive energy from their (generally short) bouts of self-pity. They come back stronger, with a spring in their step, ready to face the world again, and just as, if not more, compassionate and trusting as they were before. Some might even wonder if Pisces finds pleasure in suffering. Sometimes this is the case, but most of the time, Pisces pulls a lot of creative energy from sadness. Pisces is the poet or artist with angst, although this trait is often more apparent with Moon in Pisces.

Some find Pisces' tendency to be late for appointments, spaced out behavior, and absent-mindedness amount to irresponsibility. Pisces would be shocked to know this, however. Who me? Pisces wonders. Irresponsible? Pisces Suns absolutely care--their love knows no bounds--but their retreats from ordinary life (whether they are as simple as daydreams or actual departures) that they so seem to need every now and again are not always understandable to no-nonsense signs, such as Virgo or Aries. Many Pisces seem almost allergic to things like shopping lists, maps, directions, and instructions, and for some brave souls, even watches -- they prefer to feel their way through life than to follow some plan. We find plenty of artists, poets, and musicians with Sun (and other personal planets) in Pisces. Piscean themes are woven throughout the songs of Billy Corgan of the Smashing Pumpkins and Kurt Cobain of Nirvana, for example.

Short description: She is compassionate and sentimental. She likes isolated occupations: administration, archives, history. Spirit of self-sacrifice.

Weaknesses: tendency to be led astray, lack of experience or inability to apply experience practically. Lethargy, over-sensitivity and emotionalism.

Pisces ascendant Virgo
Sun in VI
The work that you do, and the services that you offer, are very important to your sense of identity. In order to feel good about yourself, you need to be busy with daily activities and to produce work you can be proud of. Focus on finding a suitable and rewarding avenue for expressing this part of you, being extra careful to choose an occupation in which you can express yourself. You are sensitive to criticism about the work you do, and you work best when you can create your own schedule. Positive feedback for the services you render is important to you, but be careful not to over-identify with the appreciation you receive from others, as your work and your health suffers when you feel under-appreciated. Motivation to do a good job should come from within.

75 Conjunction Sun - Moon
Your emotions and your will are at peace with one another, suggesting a rather balanced personality. The "messages" you received in childhood were not contradictory overall, and you have a stronger sense of purpose and appreciation of harmony than most people. You are likely personally popular, mainly because you expect harmony in your relationships. You are attractive to the opposite sex, and your self-confidence and security make you easy to deal with on many levels. Your relaxed, easygoing disposition puts others at ease. You may not be prepared for conflict and you often avoid "rocking the boat". You may acquiesce to others a little too often, if only to maintain a feeling of balance and harmony, as conflict is something you not only dislike, you might fear it. The tendency towards too much acceptance--of the self and of others--is usually present. You must be encouraged to question life, or you run the risk of taking things for granted. Vitality is usually good and quite constant. You are not necessarily hard-driving, unless other indications in the chart point to it, but your constitution is generally strong. At any rate, you are not as prone to the kinds of ups and downs that plague those with challenging aspects between the Sun and Moon. This is because even though your life goals and your emotional needs are different, they are in harmony.

Short description: She has lots of vitality. She likes public life, she is popular and her company is appreciated. She is balanced, at ease with herself and usually gets on very well with her parents.

491 Conjunction Sun - Mercury

Because your ego and your mind are aligned, you possess much mental energy. You are always in a position to think about what you want, and in many ways, this is an interruption of the will. You are highly intelligent with a great drive to communicate with others. You invest a lot of pride in your intellectual capacities. You may not always listen as well as you speak, however! You might be too busy thinking about what to say next. But you are very curious and although you enjoy expressing yourself, you usually don't dominate conversations completely. As far as studying or learning goes, you are better off reading the material than listening to a teacher. These traits come from a strong need to take an active role in communications. It is very hard for you to passively listen and absorb information.

Your opinions are usually strong and you are an independent thinker. You tend to be proud of your opinions and thoughts, and might easily get a bruised ego if you are not "heard", if your opinions are pushed aside or ignored, or if your opinions are criticized. You are expressive and possibly a very animated speaker. You are also very witty and others enjoy your playful and sometimes mischievous sense of humor.


-84 Square Sun - Saturn
You faced a fair number of challenges in your life, especially in the first half of life, in which your attempts to express your will were often thwarted. There can be a persistent feeling that you don't get what you want in comparison to others. You can feel unlucky at times. Attempts to control your environment, and sometimes others, may be frequent.

You want to be considered an accomplished and important person, and when you face obstacles, you don't always see that you are your own worst enemy. You may long to be considered important in the eyes of the world, yet you harbor fear of success at the same time. You take failures and minor setbacks to heart, and may even practically beat yourself up over them. Self-awareness to the point of real self-consciousness is a possibility. The truth is, nobody holds a microscope over you, except for yourself. A little setback or a faux pas needn't be analyzed to death. Fingers needn't be pointed. No, you didn't make a spectacle of yourself when you made a mistake. You need to stop worrying about always being right, or appearing suave and accomplished. When you ease the pressure you put on yourself, you find that you don't face as many brick walls. It is very much about what you feel you deserve. Deep down inside, if you let yourself truly believe that you deserve happiness and peace of mind, you will find it.You may engage in a lot of self-censoring: "I shouldn't.." is a common censoring mechanism with you. When you express egotism of any form, some part of you feels guilty. As the Sun rules our conscious mind, it does enough censoring on its own. It is the "adult" within us. Saturn, on the other hand, is more like the "parent" within us. We need parents to guide us when we are children, and to some degree as adults, but for the most part, we don't need to be censored indefinitely--something that seems to be the case with Saturn-Sun hard aspects, except that the censoring and parenting is coming from within. Ideally, you eventually learn that the standards you set for yourself are too high, and that may be the reason you seem to hit brick walls. You have a sarcastic sense of humor, a keen intelligence, and the ability to apply caution and strategy. The vitality may suffer, and troubles with the bones, teeth, and circulation may surface, especially at times of stress in your life.

73 Sextile Sun - Neptune

There is an unmistakably dreamy, inspired, and sensitive side to you. A marked appreciation for music and the arts is present. The connection of Neptune with the Sun, which represents the ego and the will, certainly softens some of the hard edges that might be found elsewhere in the chart, adding a sensitive and spiritual dimension to your personality. You are naturally compassionate. It is so completely natural for you to accept that there is more to the world than what is before your eyes, that you tend to presume everyone must be spiritually-inclined. Of course, you come to realize that this is not the case at some early point in your life. Your attraction to spirituality and metaphysical subjects is usually marked. These aspects favor writers, artists, and musicians. You are sensitive to those who are suffering, although you are not usually taken advantage of. You are humanitarian and may have a special connection with animals. If other aspects and positions in the chart support it, you are not one to dominate others or assert yourself to the point of brashness. You have a fertile imagination, are full of inspiration, and very emotional - all qualities that you may use on the professional level.

74 Trine Sun - Pluto

You have much sexual vitality and passion. It is easy and natural for you to find a passion and pursue it, and to focus on a goal. You are not much scared of anything. You enjoy and embrace growth, especially of the psychological kind. You love a good mystery, and you are adept at solving it.You readily assign meaning to what others might consider "ordinary" events. You look for symbols, and read between the lines in most any situation. The physical vitality is generally strong, and the body is usually able to heal quickly. You are not afraid to get your hands dirty, and you are usually quick to help others--not only with mundane tasks, but also on a spiritual or psychological level. Your insight is sharp and sometimes awe-inspiring. You are perceptive and not easily rattled or surprised in life. You are not a do-gooder nor are you a law-breaker. However, you are not afraid of the "dark side" of human nature, and you will bend the rules from time to time if you feel the need to do so. You take particular pleasure in growth and life's lessons. You are not fond of superficiality, and are generally the first to spot pretense of any kind. You are passionate and can be intense. You have a hunger to experience more than just an "ordinary" life, and you can be quite ambitious. Some people with this aspect are perfectionists, demanding much from themselves and reasonable amounts of effort and honesty from others.

The Moon represents the emotional responses, unconscious pre-destination, and the self-image.
Moon in Aquarius

Moon in Aquarius people are extremely observant. They are life-time students of human nature, loving to analyze why people do what they do. This often stems from a detached--even shy--personality, especially in youth. Whether due to character or conditioning, Moon in Aquarius people often grow up feeling "different". Although rather sociable, they are often loners at heart. Many have strong egos, or at least powerful defense mechanisms, and most Lunar Aquarians will do their best to be the most unique and unusual person they can be. Their inner feeling of loneliness--that they don't quite fit in--puts them on the outside, looking in. There is a very idealistic and progressive streak in Lunar Aquarians that is admirable indeed. However, when the Moon is in Aquarius, natives often will deny the more irrational qualities of emotions--such as jealousy, possessiveness, and fear--in an effort to be "above" what they consider "pettiness". When this goes too far, Lunar Aquarians can be emotionally blocked, distant, and detached.

Lunar Aquarians can be very willful, especially in childhood. With age, these natives generally learn to handle their strong needs. Their desire for independence is powerful indeed, no matter what their age. With a quiet Sun and/or Ascendant, their desire to "shock" others is not always apparent until a relationship becomes comfortable. They are generally proud of their family members, boasting just how unique they are. When their families are ultra-conservative, the boast will be that they rebelled against all of that!

Although given to temper tantrums and willful behavior in youth, Moon in Aquarius people often grow up feeling that messy emotions are unappealing. They often pride themselves for being cool-headed, detached, and "above" what they consider the more base emotions. In the process, they can end up alienating others--and themselves. Although Lunar Aquarians can be especially adept at understanding others' behavior and motivations, they can lose touch with their own--simply because they have identified too strongly with what they aspire to be (and these aspirations are often super-human). The Aquarian tendency to be humanitarian shows up powerfully in Moon in Aquarius. However, their kindness and concern for others is generally more a broad philosophy of life. With people close to them, Moon in Aquarius natives can seemingly lack compassion, as they often fully expect others to be as independent and detached as they are! In close, personal relationships, however, Lunar Aquarians generally give others a lot of personal freedom, and they will tolerate and enjoy all kinds of idiosyncrasies in people around them.

Moon in Aquarius people are rarely flighty people, but they can be unreliable when it concerns the little things in life. Often, this is simply an assertion of their independence. In the long haul, however, they are rather constant, as Aquarius is a fixed sign. As long as they have their own space and the freedom to be themselves, however kooky that may be, they are trustworthy and loyal. Lunar Aquarians generally make wonderful friends. They'll make a point of leaving nobody on the outside. Many will fight for other's rights and crusade for equality. What may be surprising is that Moon in Aquarius people have a lot of pride. In fact, when they've been attacked in any way (especially regarding their character), they can become very inflexible and cool. It can be difficult to know just how sensitive to criticism Lunar Aquarians are, simply because they hide it so well! When their character or behavior has been criticized, they tend to dig in their heels and keep right on doing it. They fully expect others to accept them exactly as they are, or they don't have much use for them in their lives. These sometimes maddeningly unpredictable people are nevertheless quite charming. They have an unmistakable stubborn streak, but when left to be themselves, they make unusual and endlessly interesting people to be around. Life just wouldn't be the same without Lunar Aquarians' unusual spin on the world and the people in it!

Short description: She is sociable, intelligent and lucid. Thanks to great sociability, she has many friends. She is modern, original, inventive, non-conformist and brings new life to everything she does.

Weaknesses: she is eccentric, with sharp mood swings. Complex love life.


Moon in VI

Will never be a leader, but succeeds in being the right-hand of an important person. In most cases, she is an employee, worker etc. She likes the country, respects Nature and likes animals.


59 Conjunction Moon - Mercury

You can be quite expressive and animated in your speech. You have an outstanding memory and tend to pick up a lot of information from your environment. You love to chat and to exchange ideas. Even if you are shy, once you're friends, you love to talk about pretty much anything under the sun, and you enjoy sharing stories from your past! For the most part, you are focused on day-to-day activities in your communications rather than on grander philosophies. You are naturally curious and interested, and others find you very easy to talk to. You are accommodating and curious, but you are not as well equipped to handle heavy emotional demands. You thrive on change and variety. You might be a little addicted to gossip! More probably, however, you are simply very curious about others. There is a twinkle in your eyes, and you are never short on humor. You are playful and versatile--you make a fun companion and an interesting friend. You listen! Yes, you do talk and occasionally interrupt in your excitement, but you are a curious person who does want to hear what others have to say, and that is a real pleasure. In fact, you are more able than most people to get others talking, simply because you are very receptive and sympathetic. You pick up others' feelings and body language readily.

16 Sextile Moon - Uranus

She is imaginative and has the Moon's intuition complemented by Uranus' independence and originality. Her life is out-of-the-ordinary, with lots of changes and a great knowledge of the world not through reading but through personal experience. She likes the sensational, new things. She acts instinctively, but fortunately has a good sixth sense. She likes to be surrounded by original people, artists.

Mercury represents communication, Cartesian and logical spirit.
Mercury in Pisces

She sponges up the feelings and moods of people and the environment around her. Moody communication--sometimes very talkative, other times withdrawn. Tactful, doesn't want to offend anyone. Fertile imagination. Flexible mind, sometimes gullibile, but usually simply open to possibilities. Indirect. It can be very hard to pin her down to any one belief or decision.

Mercury in VI

Medical profession. Serviceable and generous nature. Meets their soul brother at work, or (if not) through family contacts.

-54 Square Mercury - Saturn

She is reserved, conservative, ambitious and stubborn. She has a slow mind and has problems expressing herself. Social success is slow and laborious, but she does not give up easily and is patient.

33 Sextile Mercury - Neptune

She can put down in writing everything that her imagination and intuition dictates.

39 Trine Mercury - Pluto

She has a great sense of observation and quickly grasps the situation. She is crafty, subtle and critical.

Venus represents an interest for emotions and values, exchange and sharing with others.
Venus in Aries

Venus in Aries people flirt by being up-front, direct, and even daring. They try to win you over by expressing how enterprising and independent they are. Their style of expressing love can be maddeningly "me"-centered, but the right person for them will find this approach charming. People get turned on by Venus in Aries' aura of innocent charm, even when they are being childish and impatient. Venus in Aries men and women behave in a childlike, fun-loving manner in love. They are turned on by energy and activity. Turn-offs include a relationship that is considered stuffy or too "mature", vagueness, and beating around the bush. In love, Venus in Aries people are hopelessly addicted to the conquest. In order for a relationship to remain fresh and new for them, they require plenty of stimulation.


Pleasing Venus in Aries involves fueling their need for action. Be direct, open, and honest with them -- they won't much like game-playing or evasiveness, unless it is in the complete spirit of fun. Feed their need for spontaneity, and appreciate their playfulness. Understand their desire for the relationship to remain young and fresh. Aries likes to take the lead in love (even if their Sun Sign is gentle Pisces) -- let them, at least most of the time. Indulge them their many whims, and understand that they thrive on competition, even when they're competing with you!

Short description: Wants to take the lead in love, loves the conquest, can be a spendthrift with money, is given to making impulsive purchases, likes to keep things exciting in love. Very ardent. Spontaneous and charming in her direct and straightforward approach in love.

Venus in VIII

Not frightened by the unknown, death. She has a peaceful and happy end. Natural and late death. Possible inheritance.

471 Conjunction Venus - Mars
She is amorous, not a peaceful and calm lover but a passionate one with a strong temperament. She is demonstrative in love, and likes healthy pleasures. She enjoys life to the full.

35 Trine Venus - Uranus

Independent in love. Her love life is rich, but with passing love affairs. She tires quickly and is scared of losing her liberty. If she marries, she will regret it. She has that little something that attracts the opposite sex: she likes amorous adventures, she is romantic. She is the eternal lover and, of course, is unfaithful if she has a serious relationship. She likes art, anything new.

Mars represents the desire for action and physical energy.
Mars in Aries

This is a very impulsive position of Mars. The first instinct for Mars in Aries natives is to take action. Quick flare-ups characterize the Mars in Aries character, but their anger usually doesn't last for too long. In fact, these people generally don't live in the past, and are not given to holding grudges or feeling resentful. Generally, their temper comes quickly, and they deal with anger on issues right away--with this kind of character, there is little room for festering. When Mars in Aries people listen to their instincts, they generally get things done, and they make fast and (usually) decent decisions. They don't naturally stop to smell the roses--or consider others' point of view--when they are deliberating over what to do next. In fact, "deliberation" works at lightning speed for these natives, so they could hardly be called deliberate. Spontaneity is one of their assets; as are simplicity, purity of action, and innovation.

Mars in Aries natives are often a step ahead of the rest of us. A life that is too predictable makes them antsy. Mars in Aries people enjoy starting fresh--new ideas, pioneering action, and fresh projects make them happiest. They generally enjoy challenges. Relationships with these natives can be exciting, but keeping up with them can be difficult. They are given to impulsive action, and they are not known for sticking things through. Although their physical energy is great, they can lose their initial enthusiasm quickly. Mars in Aries natives are easily irritated by indirectness from others. They expect others to say things straight--no beating around the bush. They easily become impatient with convoluted plans, or with people they consider to be slow to action. Most people with this position of Mars have a childlike quality to them. Sometimes they're downright rude and impatient, but with Mars in Aries natives, you generally know what they're after. Unless Mars is afflicted in the chart, you can also pretty much trust that they don't have hidden agendas.

Mars in VIII

Sexually very powerful, she is also capable of tremendous focus and hard work. Sexually intense and deep. Is adept at professions requiring research, strategy, uncovering truths, and analysis. Arguments may occur over inheritance.


45 Trine Mars - Uranus

She possesses exceptional energy. She is impulsive but bold. She takes on risky enterprises for the good of the community, with all the energy she possesses. She has a great need of her independence, likes her freedom of action.

53 Sextile Mars - Midheaven

She has a good sense of organization. She knows how to take the necessary decisions rapidly, is independent and uses all her energy to succeed socially.

Jupiter represents expansion and grace.
Jupiter in Aquarius

She attracts the most good fortune when she is tolerant and fair, inventive, impartial, and cooperative.


Jupiter in V

She likes games and distractions. She has passion which lights up her days. She is lucky in love, but also professionally, with pleasant working conditions and duties. She loves her children and gets much enjoyment from them.


-62 Square Jupiter - Pluto

She tends to exploit others, and has a doubtful honesty.

9 Trine Jupiter - Midheaven

She is a high liver, likes to have fun but knows what she wants and does whatever necessary to get it. She wants to - and does - succeed socially. After a hard day's work, a good well-lubricated meal in the company of friends is just the ticket.

Saturn represents contraction and effort.
Saturn in Scorpio

Observant, self-controlled, unforgiving, tough, methodical, a researcher, an investigator. Lots of courage, self-assurance and can keep her cool.

Weaknesses: makes no concessions or compromises. She can become a fanatic of a creed, a party, work or a religion.

Saturn in III

Her studies will be restricted. She is serious, discrete. She takes on mental tasks that require time and concentration. She travels little even though she likes it. She has few friends, who are, however, very close.

Uranus represents individual liberty, egoistic liberty.
Uranus in Sagittarius

She is shy, delicate but proud, bold and lively.

Uranus in IV

She is very independent. Her independence begins vis-...-vis the family circle. She does not like bureaucracy, administration, and has problems as a result. She has avant-garde ideas, she is original and does not tolerate constraints on her freedom.


-6 Square Uranus - Ascendant

She is inconstant, lacks control and is nervous.

-5 Opposition Uranus - Midheaven

She cannot carry through her plans, schemes to the end. These are changeable. She lacks forethought, attention. She throws herself into things, more than reacts to them.

Neptune represents transcendental liberty, non-egoistic liberty.
Neptune in Capricorn

She is discerning, wise and sensible.

Neptune in IV

She succeeds thanks to brilliant and unusual ideas. She is very much influenced by her mother.

54 Sextile Neptune - Pluto

Pluto represents transformations, mutations and elimination.

Pluto in Scorpio

Great sexual activity.

House I is the area of self identity. The ascendant is a symbol of how one acts in life. It is the image of the personality as seen by others, and the attitude that one has towards life.

Pisces ascendant Virgo
Ascendant in Virgo

People with Virgo rising are often a little understated in their personal mannerisms and appearance, although a lot depends on the position of Mercury (the ruling planet of Virgo) in the chart. Generally, there is an intelligent and reserved aura about Virgo rising individuals that is unmistakable. These are actually somewhat shy people who need time to analyze things around them before they warm up to both situations and people. This quality can be received exactly as that, or it can be received as a rather stand-offish, cool, and even critical manner (depending on the audience). One of the biggest personality traits of this position is body-awareness. People with Virgo ascendants are sensitive to any discomfort or other signals their body gives them. Many are especially interested and concerned with physical health, and some are attracted to mind-body awareness exercises such as yoga. Virgo rising people are often rather particular about food. Although some have good appetites, there can be an unmistakable pickiness about what they put in and on their bodies. Virgo ascendant natives have a tendency to worry a lot, especially when confronted with new situations. They notice the tiniest details that others overlook.

Many people with this position have a tendency to attract (or be attracted to) people who need help. Their relationships may be confusing as a result. Despite the Virgo rising tendency to appear rather collected and professional, relationships can sometimes be messy simply because these natives don't always see their partners and partnerships clearly. There's a quiet charm to many Virgo rising people. Once they have the chance to warm up to new people and situations, you'll find they have a lot to offer. They'll help you out of a jam, go out on a limb for you, and surprise you with a natural modesty under a somewhat critical and standoffish manner.

House II is the area of material security and values. It rules money and personal finances, sense of self-worth and basic values, personal possessions.
House II in Libra

Income may come either as a result of an advantageous marriage, through artistic expression, or by a very useful association.

House III is the area of social and intellectual learning.
House III in Scorpio

Makes a good investigator because she is very curious, likes researching and does this with a lot of patience, likes to solve mysteries. Knows how to take risks, while being aware of the dangers.


House IV is the area of home, family, roots, and deep emotions/sense of self-worth.
House IV in Sagittarius

She will certainly marry a foreigner, or go to live abroad permanently and set up home there.

House V is the area of creative self-expression, romance, entertainment, children, and gambling.
House V in Capricorn

The absolute example of the "serious" type. Everything is calculated, the slightest risk analyzed, patience is one of her main qualities. Doesn't know anything about chance. One or two love affairs, marriage, a family, all unproblematic - done calmly with love and wisdom.

House VI is the area of learning by material transaction.
House VI in Aquarius

One of the professions or teaching. Weak point: the circulation of the blood.

House VII is the area of one-to-one relationships such as marriage and partnership, and of social and intellectual action.
House VII in Pisces

Marriage with someone who will quickly disappoint. The spouse's lack of energy and vitality will annoy her, and this could lead to the break-up of the marriage. A second, happier one could happen.


House VIII is the area of emotional security and of security of the soul.
House VIII in Aries

The spouse will tend to spend more money than she earns. Be careful of any haste that could prove dangerous. Drives a car too fast.

House IX is the area of learning that shapes the identity.
House IX in Taurus

Travels but little, no great attraction for abroad. Doesn't change principles, practically never changes mind.

House X is the area of material action. The Mid-heaven represents the work one will do in his life, the place one will take in the world of society. It becomes more important as one grows older
House X in Gemini

Profession requiring lots of change and movement. If this isn't the case, then lots of job changes. Likes to move, travel, write.

House XI is the area of search for social and intellectual security.
House XI in Cancer

Sincere and life-long friendships. The family comes first, however.

House XII is the area of education and of emotion.
House XII in Leo

A few problems with authority or someone in charge.